So, I decided to talk about self esteem. Now, I guess we are all already aware of how important self esteem is and how it impacts your life. Some people have low self esteem and some people have high self esteem. Now, the thing is that if you have low self esteem, how do you go about fixing it.
First lets talk about what self esteem really is. Now, a lot of people tend to confuse self esteem with self respect, self image etc. Perhaps they are all the same. To be honest, even I don’t clearly know the difference between these things. LOL. I mean they are abstract constructs. Why am I talking about it then? To be honest, it just feels good to give an opinion. But I am sure that my opinion might be helpful to some people. At least, I hope so.
So here is the thing. According to wikipedia, self esteem is one’s evaluation of one’s own worth. So, it is pretty similar to self image and self worth. That is what I think it is. Self esteem encompasses the beliefs that you have about yourself, how you treat yourself, how you feel others should treat you, how much control do you think you have over your life, how confident you think you are in handling tough situations etc.
The important thing you need to know is that low self esteem can cause real problems in life. People with low self esteem tend to think of themselves as less than other people. These people might think of themselves as unworthy or undeserving of good things in life. But if this is your belief system then you are going to face a lot of problems in life. You will have difficulties in getting promotions, maintaining relations with other people, lack of important resources etc. People with low self esteem will blame the system for everything that goes wrong in their life. So, you definitely don’t want to feel powerless in such situations.
Now, obviously what you feel within is what you feel in the outside world. The feelings you have within are the same feelings you experience in the reality that you experience. So, it is essential to understand what makes you feel the way that you do about yourself. What are the beliefs that you have about yourself and why do you have them?
Now, a lot of our beliefs about ourselves are formed from how we are treated as kids. The events that occur in our life play an important role to. Now, as kids we are observing and literally absorbing information all the time. How our parents treat us, how they behave, what values they teach us, how we are treated in school, and other events that we experience are constantly shaping our own perception about ourselves.
Now, it is important to let go of all the negative beliefs that we have about ourselves. Also, if we must hold ourselves worthy of every good thing in life. It is essential to know what we want and then go about manifesting it into reality. Remember, that you always have the power to change your circumstances. Now, it is fine if certain things have gone wrong in the past. I don’t think there is anyone who has always had things under control. Don’t beat yourself over things which you felt you did wrong. Always learn from them. Don’t overvalue other people and don’t undervalue yourself no matter how much they seem to have accomplished and whether you have accomplished anything or not. Never put other people on a pedestal and never put yourself lower than anyone in anything.
A lot of people tend to look at personal accomplishments and feel as if that is where self worth comes from. The thing is no matter how many accomplished you become there will in 99.99% of probability be people whom you might perceive as being more accomplished than you. So, that is one reason why comparisons are pointless. Let go of ideas like comparisons and competitions to define your self worth.
Lastly, know what you want in life and move in that direction. Create a happy life for yourself because that is what you are born for. Have fun.