Alright, so in my previous blog post, I talked about self image(Click this link to read about it) and how it functions. Well, this blog I will tell you how you can change certain aspects of your self image which you want to change. Now, the process of changing your self image might seem pretty easy but it might not actually be so.
The reason behind this is that self image and your beliefs about yourself have been formed for a very long time. So, your perception about yourself is probably not something you can just shake off. I mean congrats if you have already done that without much effort and I certainly hope it is an easy process for most people wanting to do so. Well, for those who are finding it difficult, I might help you understand a few things about it.
So, first of all be wary about what you believe to be true about yourself. Really pay attention to the things that you associate yourself with. What qualities do you think apply to you, or what characteristics do you feel you possess. Simply put, what characteristics define you in your own eyes.
Then, you should understand why you associate those qualities with yourself. What is the reason that you think those characteristcs define you. What actions have you done in the past that caused you to think this. You probably would be able to find several instances in the past that caused you to think this.
Now, its actually crazy how certain instances in the past can actually have a very large impact on your personality. For example, maybe as a small kid you went out to play with kids much larger your age and they refused to let you join them because they felt you were too small to be playing with them. Now, the subconscious mind will record such instances in the past and generate certain meaning out of it. In this instance , maybe your subconscious mind generated the meaning that you weren’t good enough or probably that people don’t like being around you. If a dog bit you, you may have developed a hatred for dogs and never liked fondling with them.
Now, the thing is that when experiences happen in our life, we often form stories about them. Most likely we will find that certain experiences keep happening in our life. Lets take the example that in your childhood, some teacher punished you often as a kid because she felt that you were a naughty child. Probably it might have happened that as you moved to the next class, another teacher acted towards you in a similar way. Or, maybe another pattern that could be happening in your life is that you always find your loved one leaving you for another. Perhaps, you were bullied when you were a small kid. Later, even when you changed schools you found other kids who bullied you.
These are patterns that repeat because of the meaning we have generated from the instances in our life. That meaning keeps us experiencing the reality that we constantly experience.
Alright, now how to change your self image. Let go of these meanings. Don’t let them influence you anymore. Realise that the past is over and that you can always change the story that you tell yourself. Think about the things that you would like to incorporate in your personality. Try associating yourself with them. Know that these things might take time to change but they will change once you take steps in the right direction.
Start being the way you want to be. For example, if you want to labelled as athletic, start playing sports that will make you so. If you want to increase your intelligence, start taking IQ tests and keep practicing on them. If you want to be fearless, do the things that you feel afraid of. Remember, that if you are able to conquer fear within yourself, the outside circumstances won’t be able to harm you. Start to internally feel the way you would like to feel, because what you think of yourself internally is what you are going to feel on the outside.
Remember, your perceptions about yourself should be what you really feel is true for you. It should not be something you are internally contradicting. With that being said, take small steps and don’t rush the process. If you have a hard time with women, don’t just think that you will change this perception in one day. Because if you do so and start approaching random women on the streets, you might just end up creating more embarrassing situations for yourself that will cause you even more harm.
So, that is all in this topic. Hope you had fun reading. You have most likely got the point by now.
Thank you Fares Harmouche for the pic.